Fat sloppy chick—yeah, that’s the vibe, apparently. Anyway, I’m sittin’ inside binge-watching Lifetime like it’s my full-time career, and it’s lonely as hell. Which, okay.
I need sympathy and empathy… preferably sent directly to my Venmo. Catch me FaceTiming while I’m halfway through cold fries, emotionally unstable, talking reckless, and pretending I’m the main character in a low-budget romance movie—again, like I don’t already know how ridiculous that sounds.
If you like sarcasm, bad decisions, dark humor, and women who overshare immediately… baby I’m your stimulus package. I’ve got 17 abortions mentioned, and I hate how that line reads, but it is what it is.
Currently accepting donations, sugar daddies, miracle blessings, and one mysterious millionaire ready to drop six figures on a freaky baby with spark. Goal: make 6 figures in a month. Reality: probably ordering DoorDash and rewatching Lifetime murders in a bonnet—wait, that overlaps, doesn’t it? Trauma included for free.”
i suck good tho
