Honey, I been banned from three Waffle Houses and two Baptist churches, so you KNOW I know how to party.
Y’all ever been with a woman who can change her own oil AND drain your balls in under 20 minutes —yeah, that’s the vibe. Anyway. I’ve got a smile that could talk the preacher into sin, and I can quote scripture too, like somehow both can be true.
Welcome to the big leagues, baby. I don’t do boring. I do memorable. Sometimes regrettable—usually both.
And I don’t do ‘elegant dinner dates’ unless that dinner comes from a drive-thru and you’re buying me a 40.
~Clearly I’m hilarious too !!
My reviews speak for themselves:
• ‘Stevie gave me chlamydia but it was worth it’ — (Verified Client, 2023.)
• ‘She stole my watch but also my heart’ — (Some guy from Tinder.)
• ‘5 stars, would sin again’ — (Your pastor probably.)
I’m not cheap, but I’m worth it. And I’m not easy, but I’m fun. And I’m not yours, but I’m yours for the right price.
No cops. No weirdos. No guys who say ‘I don’t usually do this’ — Chad, you do this. You messaged me four times last week—remember, you messaged, not called.
....._____....
Ask for proof, I’ll send a pic
*>: A DEPOSIT IS A MUST !!! --------****NO EXCEPTIONS****------
❗❗ DO. NOT. CALL. MY. PHONE. ...I WILL NOT ANSWER...
TEXTING IS THE ONLY WAY YOULL RECEIVE A RESPONSE BACK. !!️!!️!!️
•CONTENT FOR SALE• !!!
•CUSTOM CONTENT ❤
•FACETIME/VIDEO SHOWS •❣•
Which, okay, && dudes if you think this bio isnt funny then dont even message me .
