MONOGAMY BLOWS!
I am offering a melange of relationship choices for the man who thinks he wants to be with one woman for the rest of his life.
Girlfriend Experience-I send multiple nudes throughout the week, I laugh at your dumb jokes, I stick up for you when people say unbecoming things about you, sex is aaammaaazzziinngg, BJs? Every day! I start banging your friends, too, and blame it on you. You get a petname such as 'bitch' or 'dipshit'.
Wife Experience-Sex only when I feel like it, BJs? No way. I throw you under the bus, you buy 2 life insurance policies naming only me as beneficiary, I take your whole paycheck every payday so you can't go blow the money on whores and Apple Crown. No makeup.
The Esmeralda Slobbahknobb NO STRINGS Relationship Extravaganza-BJ? Best EVER!, no phone calls during the night, day, at work or at play, no nagging, no stealing, no demanding more than ive already asked, great conversation, im hilarious, listen to my stories, tell me your secrets, be you, I encourage those who have a fetish or kink that theyd like to act on or explore to do so with me. I keep secrets, dont name names and im very caring. Until you piss me off.
In any case, join me, Esmeralda Slobbahknobb in a romance youll be telling your grandkids about.
217-360-2827
Rates vary
Call now!