ALERT. Don’t reply to any texts from someone pretending to be me if it’s coming from a different number—my iPhone got stolen, and the thief’s been pretending to be me to con my clients for money. Don’t send any money.
Anyway, Five reasons to visit The Dick Whisperer —I’m keeping it simple, because people keep asking for the “list” like it’s a riddle:
• You’d probably smile on a day that feels kinda heavy—cool, I get it.
• You need to let go of that built-up boner from all day.
• You’ve been feeling lonely lately, and it’d help to have a kind, down-to-earth friend around who listens.
• You’re already pumped and you want to turn the day up a notch.
• The weekend’s about done and you haven’t done anything fun yet.
Which, okay—“Treat yourself to a whispering!” is basically what everyone’s been messaging about, and yeah, I’m saying it again. Serious inquiries only please—
